09/25/2007

Buck: What's up man? You've been hanging around for a while now, when did you get into riding?

Bubba: What's up buddy! I got into riding probably when I was 15 years old...

Buck: 15? Damn. You've been riding for a while. Who got you started?

Bubba: Yeah it’s been a while, although I can't say I got serious about it until I was in high school. My neighbor who had a boat right by ours had a skurfer and it went from there.

Buck: Yay, Skurfers!

Bubba: Those were the days man! Nothing but a single foot strap holding you to the board!

Buck: Sounds like wakeskating. HAHAHAHAHA! I'm watching South Park right now and Stan is outside Wendy's window with a boom box. What a douche. Now Butter's is hitting on the Raisins girl. Do you like South Park?

Bubba: I think it's a funny show, but I’m not an avid viewer. The "Price is Right" episode was hysterical!!

Buck: No shit? I haven't seen that episode but Bob Barker is the brass. I'll have to keep an eye out. Back to wake related festivities. What gets you amped to ride?

Bubba: Well I would have to say after watching our local boys kill it, I am in the mood to go attempt to Shred the GNAR!! But I am pretty much down to ride 24/7.

Buck: That's what I'm talking about. 24/7 is the jam. We've ridden together a few times and it was lovely, but who do you ride with most of the time?

Bubba: I normally ride with Brooksie, Lizon, Diamond, Airchairman, P-Cash, Kearns, and usually there are a few others that join.

Buck: That's definitely a good crew to get in with, fun guys. Speaking of Brooksie, yall posted some pictures of Bearden's old Toothpick a while back. I think you widened it up and made a kicker, is that right?

Bubba: That's right. We went down to Shreducation at the GRC and we brought the toothpick home with us. That think was huge by the way; it broke the tailgate in my truck. Anyways, one weekend Brooksie and another friend Rob worked on that thing all day widening it. It is now a legit kicker! Let me tell you that thing will boot you when hitting it at about 30 MPH!!! My knees are always sore the next day!! I can't take any credit for working on it because all I did was point, make suggestions, and tell Greg what he was doing wrong then I would walk back down to the lake. I just checked up on them every couple of hours.

Buck: That sounds like what Clark would do. The first time I met him I would have sworn he didn't know how to operate a hammer. That has no bearing on this. I'm rambling. You lived out in Texas for a bit; tell me what that was like.

Bubba: Man! Living in Texas was quite the experience. I lived in San Antonio for 2 years, worked as a hunting guide on 2 ranches about 4 days a week, went to school the other 3 days, and found time to go up and ride at The Texas Ski Ranch when I could. But I always tell people stories of how it is a truly different world out there and it really is. It is awesome, hunting hogs with dogs, slaying huge deer, or getting paid to tell hunters what they can and cannot shoot. Simply amazing!

Buck: Some people get off on telling people what they can and can't do; I don't usually like those people. They are generally filed as assholes in my book - don't ever tell me what to do! Back to riding. You're a big fella. What, 230? Yet you somehow manage to look respectable on a board. I've seen you bust a sick TS Indy poke on plenty of occasions that skinny people couldn't do. How did you manage to pull that off?

Bubba: I am 6'2'' 230 lbs. I guess I learned early when I wasn't as big, and I grew up on the water, skiing, barefooting, so it came easier to me than others without that kind of background. Anyways when I get to ride behind Tron's X-Star with the most amazing wake, even heavy people can fly. That is actually one of my favorite tricks to do! Oh yeah, thanks for the compliment too.

Buck: You are a 6'2 lie. Well, I take that back. You might have the torso of someone that is 6'2 but you've got the legs of a leprechaun. How did that happen? Riding a bike has got to be difficult.

Bubba: HAHA!! I have never had huge legs. I grew up as a swimmer before I got into football and my legs were never worked very much. I was more of a puller. But I guess its just genetics. I mean they may look small but they support me, ha! Wait, I did break my left leg riding 2 summers ago, and my left foot earlier this year, but I’m back! By the way, I have no problems riding a bike. DICK!

Buck: More of a puller... interesting.

Bubba: Interesting?

Buck: Yes, interesting. Last weekend at the Little River Sessions you were definitely trying to snuggle me, now I'm a big fan of snuggling, but your legs are short and your torso is definitely bigger than what I am used to. Where was I going with that? Hell if I know. I'm trying to do several things at once.

Bubba: If you are making fun of my legs, then maybe I should go ahead and say that you wear your boardshorts higher than anyone I know. I think your belly button is out of whack!

Buck: That's obviously not going in the actually interview.

Bubba: It should!

Buck: You can talk shit all you want but at the end of the day I’m the one with the password, biatch.

Bubba: I don't know how to say this, but the password is "nipple" - Cable Guy

Buck: Nipple - that's a funny word. Did I ever tell you that I have three nipples? The third one is slightly deformed, but it's a nipple and his name is Norman. How do you like that?!

Bubba: HAHA! That's hilarious! Norman, huh?

Buck: Norman. He's the man.

At this point Bubba and I took a week long break from the interview. We resumed here.

Bubba: Spartans were bred for fighting from the waste up, as my body reflects that too! In the movie 300 you don’t see any legs kicks!

Buck: Yep you keep that 300 erection as long as you can. As Brandon said, "Bubba looks like a Mr. Potato head on toothpicks." I agreed. Anyhow, tell me about the Rome Tourney. How did you ride? I believe that I fell asleep during your actual pass and I was judging.

Bubba: The Rome tourney was sick! I rode well, got second for my division, got beat out by a raley I think?

Buck: What is taking you so long? Are you typing with your thumbs?

Bubba: I would have done one if I knew I needed to but I was first off the dock, and fell 3/4 through my second pass and the boat never came to pick me back up! DICKS! I’m trying to punctuate and spell correctly you as-clown!

Buck: Like I said, I was sleeping. And I was driving. That's why you didn't get another shot. Maybe you should have tried your toe off five. Then I would have picked your torso up for another shot.

Bubba: True, I was saving it for the end! Hey have you ever seen the TV show called "Taboo"?

Buck: Nope.

Bubba: Dude, it is crazy. It’s about all these different cultures around the world and the crazy rituals they have a lot of torture techniques and crazy games they play, it is NUTS!

Buck: Speaking of nuts I tried an air roll yesterday (in honor of Tim Pratt and Smat) and I may not be able to have children now. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you go and why?

Bubba: Somewhere in India. Those men ride around on horses throwing spears at one another making all sorts of Indian sounds, and these tribes in Africa have 2 boys whip each other with sticks and if you don’t flinch after taking two hard hits, they consider you a man. They literally tear flesh off of the body with each whip too!

Buck: Mother of God. You are just full of good quotes. Ok Bubba, I’ve got things to do. Tell some folks you care.

Bubba: I would like to say thanks to my parents - who raised me on the water and introduced me to the sport that I love, thanks to God - without him this wouldn't be possible, to all of Team Chump, Brooksie for bringing me on the WBA scene years ago, anyone who has ever given me a pull, Rhett for putting me on the Boards by Whatley plan, Derek and Kearns at Buywake, Lizon, and anyone who I have met or become friends with on the water! And thanks to you Buck for this opportunity, and for becoming such a good friend! A special thanks to Airchairman and Tron for always providing a boat with a sick wake to shred the GNAR on!